I'm 25, married, and have a 2 month old beautiful baby girl. Currently I am separated from my husband. Do I love him? Yes I do, very much so. Did I feel that separating from him was necessary? Yes I did.I wont go into detail as to what caused the separation because my blogging experience is not about him or to speak bad about him, but to see change and growth within myself.
We've been separated for about 2 weeks now, and today I realized something about myself, I do not like to be alone. I mean, I want a companion. This is something I realized I didn't like about myself. I want to be perfectly comfortable by myself. It's ok to want or enjoy a companionship, but it's also good to be comfortable and fine without it. I want to be closer to God, want to learn to, solely rely on him for my spiritual needs.
* Disclaimer*
Please forgive me, as my blogging may be all over the place, I Am just writing how the thoughts are in my head
During this separation its allowing me to see a lot about myself and the 1st thing I want to change, is me beginning to be comfortable alone. Do I miss my husband? YES! Do I miss his touch And kiss? YES! But was this separation necessary? Yes.
I am also learning how incredibly strong I am. Yes I have my moments when I'm weak but I'm strong. I'm especially strong for my little girl. I want the best example for her. Some may not agree with the choice that I made but thats ok, because I did not make the decision for their approval. I did it for me and for my little girl. And ultimately I did it for my husband so he can see what was hard for him to see while I was home.
Do I want our marriage to work? Yes of course I do. Do I want to divorce? No not at all. Do I have a feeling that it may not go how I want? Yes that is a fear of mine. Am I ready and willing to do what it takes to make it better and fix the issues? Yes I am, but its a 2 way street. Talk is great but actions must follow. I cant do it I alone.
